Julian Assange seeks Asylum in ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓

POLITICAL ASYLUM EXPERT, JAZZ T▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ LEAKS THE FOLLOWING…

In a stunning move from Wikileak’s head honcho, Julian Assange, the international troublemaker today escaped the Ecuadorian Embassy in the UK and fled straight to the United State’s most notorious prison, Guantanamo Bay.

“I was thinking of places where I’d be safe,” the former computer hacker-turned embassy resident explained, “and realised, when the United States said it would contest the legality of the ‘Diplomatic Asylum’ offered by the Ecuadorian Embassy, that the best place was Guantanamo Bay, as it’s outside international and U.S. law.”

Now there, the United States is unable to get at him, as doing so would require they also acknowledge the prison’s existence. “It’s ▓▓▓▓▓,” said U.S. District Chief Justice Royce Lamberth: “Now that he’s deep within that prison that may or may not exist, we can’t even ▓▓▓▓▓▓ him with anything because we generally don’t allow lawyers to enter the non-existent Guantanamo Bay facility.”

The Pentagon and The ▓▓▓▓▓ House are now in a conundrum as to whether or not they should storm Guantanamo Bay Prison and bring Mr. Assange somewhere that people can actually talk about. The Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, was said to be relieved she wouldn’t have to step in and fight for one of her own citizens’ legal rights, especially now that they’re in “Mordor, or some other fictional place out of my jurisdiction and care.”

Jennifer Robinson, legal advisor to Julian Assange, has said that, to enable the U.S. Government to have a clue what’s going on in GUANTANAMO BAY!!, the Pentagon has demanded that Wikileaks leak the Pentagon’s own files to itself. She has also confirmed fears that, in order to try the fugitive in a non-existent court,  the U.S. might also have to invent non-existent ▓▓▓▓▓▓ to charge him with. 

For more on this story, go to ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓[UPLOAD INTERRUPTED]

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